It is finished.

I am sitting on the couch, willing my body to remember what it feels like not to stress. Yesterday was my final final as a 1L (the exam was great - it was straight-forward, I knew all the topics, and I wrote a decent essay. I don't know how that will translate into grades because of the curve, but at least I know I did a good job). Today, for the first time in several months, the calendar square on my refrigerator-white-board-calendar is blank!

Somehow the end of finals this semester was not the same boisterous, exuberant celebration as last semester. I think that we were just pleased/surprised/proud/amazed that we had survived last time. Perhaps we are wiser this semester? This time, leaving the exam room, I did not feel the same rush of relief and accomplishment. Instead, I felt more sedated and wistful. I am definitely relieved that this semester is over (it was much more strenuous and demanding than last semester; or at least, I knew what to expect from class and finals this time around); however I also feel the weight of my upcoming summer externship, my 2L classes, the bar (distantly) and the need to find a fitting career path. 

Yesterday after the exam, the school provided some beer/pizza/soda outside as a reward for completing another round of finals. We stood around, holding red Dixie cups, blinking in the sunlight we've been avoiding for months, saying our goodbyes. It was interesting to hear what everyone is doing this summer - many of my friends are studying abroad in London, some have externships, some working for judges, some with paying jobs that are not law-related in the least. I think back to the first days of school, when we were all fresh, energetic pre-law students, so excited about starting school and so unaware of what we were beginning. In the course of one short yet interminable school year, we have evolved into confident, battered, strong, somewhat cynical 2L's, joined by the shared experience of suffering through and surviving the first year of law school. It's hard to believe that in another two years we'll be taking the bar, and then hopefully a short time after that, will be lawyers. Somehow I feel like 3 years isn't enough time! Such responsibility!

Law school really has changed the way I think, the way I perceive the world, the way I argue and the way I speak (for example, the Classics major created my obsession and deep respect for words and language. Law school has magnified and expanded my respect for words astronomically!). It has altered my view of the future as well. I have never had a clear career path/concept of what I want to "do" or "be" in the future. Though I'm still working on choosing a proper "path," I think law school has given me some much-needed direction and has forced me to start planning ahead in ways that I never have before. I both hate and appreciate law school for this. 

I will write more about this as the summer progresses. For now, I must enjoy this "free" time (if I can still remember how!). My short-term goals are to CLEAN the apartment, to search for houses (yes, we're still looking), to apply/interview for Moot Court, and to get ready to start my externship!

K