I was discussing finals with my fellow law school warrior, and we agreed that our approach to finals as 3Ls is COMPLETELY different than it was a mere two years ago when we were gearing up for our first semester of exams. As lowly 1Ls we had no idea what to expect and were cripplingly terrified of the "unknown". All we knew is that our ENTIRE grade depended on our performance in a three-hour span, the professors were grading blind (using anonymous numbers), and that our ultimate grade depended very much on the performance of our fellow 1Ls. So scary.
Two years has passed in a flash. I am running out of trite (and non-trite) ways to explain the freakish passage of time. Law school is a time-sucking vortex of stress and knowledge and reading very heavy books. I feel as though I just started school last week, and already I am contemplating graduation and post-grad employment. Alternatively, I feel as though I am not the same person who started law school in the fall of '08. My approach to problems, my choice of words, many of my views on the world, have been completely altered by this experience. I am amazed that so much has happened so fast, yet I know I also have a ways to go before I can be an effective attorney on any level. I know that law school has given me the tools to use, but I have to figure out what to do with them.
Now as a 3L, facing my final three law school exams, I feel... very little. I keep trying to remind myself of my 1L fears: You are graded on a curve! Your performance on this exam is your entire grade! You have to know every rule and every statute we covered all semester by Thursday! Everyone else is studying like crazy too! ... I suppose I have transcended the madness. I know all of these things, but they do not affect me any more. At the end of the day, I know I test well. I paid attention all year and did every reading. I understood the topics (mostly) as we went through the semester. I KNOW that I can review an entire semester's worth of information in the form of my outline and notecards in a three-day span.
Not that I am blowing off my studying - I have heard and heeded the warnings of the complacent 3Ls who start cutting corners in order to "enjoy" their final year before having to buckle down to study for the Bar (which I am worried about!). I am not one of those 3Ls. Two of my three outlines are done, and are mostly marinating in my brain already. My third and final exam is on the 16th and I have a good amount of time to complete my outline and study for that class. I start my practice essays tomorrow. I know I can do this. See, 1L me, it's not so bad!
I really don't see the 1Ls on campus at all. Our schedules tend to be completely different, so most of them are in the library while I'm on campus for class (and I spend the majority of my time in my office anyway - I stay far away from the library because other people stress me out!). When I do see them, I know it immediately - the pack of students with worried faces, clutching stacks of books and supplements, loudly discussing the requirements for a valid contract. I want to tell them it will all be over soon. Hard to believe that was me two years ago (and it was).
Off to study. Ten days from now I will be done with finals forever! (I told this to C and he reminded me I very likely will be clamoring for another degree in a few years. He is correct, so I amended my statement to say "law school finals" instead).
K
